RKM i.e. Community Service Programme had its annual dinner held yesterday. I attended. There weren't much people. It was just like any other dinner I guess, except for the formality part. The VIP i.e. our Director for Cocurriculur Activities was a somehow a humorous person. He joked quite a lot. But one part of his speech bothers me....
He was talking about the programme itself - the reason behind the existence of the programme. The programme's main purpose is to find these people willing to contribute to the community without asking for anything in return. People joining this programme are supposed to be those with a pure will to help. However, that doesn't seem to be the case. Every now and then I realise, I might not be the only person who isn't fully commited in the programme. I'm not the only person who had been selfish when I decided to join this programme. I wanted something and because I didn't get it, I feel that this programme is tiring me out. But what actually was I expecting? I am not supposed to expect getting something but instead I should expect to give, being a part of the programme. It is a shame joining the programme with motives such as getting credit but that's what I did. Therefore I decided to quit. This is getting me nowhere. Joining with hope to raise my social ability, to find more friends, to learn how to give, to get credit, to be more active and many more, I've tire out myself when I get amost none of them. Maybe a little but they are still beyond my expectation. Thus, I'd best quit and find something which suits me better. Go somewhere I might belong. Where I'll find that my purpose serve the group I'm in and not against.
Well, I'm so busy reflecting these days, busy being stress, busy with assignments, busy with tutorials, busy gaming, busy gossiping. I'm wasting a lot of time, energy and I'm making my own brain go messy. I've been too busy I forgot my mum's birthday last few days. It had passed so long and now I remembered. Haiz.... Happy Birthday, Mum. Love you. Sorry I forgot to send at least an sms to you.
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