Consequences....

Below is a story I read from a certain page on facebook. I find it meaningful.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold h...is temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

This story reflects my life I guess. I used to have extreme temper. I still do. Anger was part of my life. I'd just throw an arrow to someone's heart at any moment and kill a part of them without prior notice. Thus was my inability to control my temper. I'm currently still learning how to control it but ain't advancing much. However, no matter how much I could control them now, the harm done can never be reverted, just as in the story. The fence is no longer in perfect shape. However, I'd try not to destroy more fences just like I had destroyed so many. Particularly, I'd destroy one pretty badly the holes on it can't even be covered no matter what. I lost a friend thanks to my bad temper. It was a terrible memory. Thinking back, I used to try and justify that the fault wasn't mine when I know that it is indeed my fault. I blamed this friend for leaving and leave this scar with me. Later I realised, I'm the one who actually caused this scar on myself and in the process, my friend, he suffered even greater scars. Now, we are basically like strangers. Pretending not to see each other even when we're not even 1 feet apart. However, I guess I'll have to thank him for choosing to leave. If he haven't, maybe I'd never realise what I'd done. This memory of a lost friendship helped me a lot in controling my temper though I still lost them once in a while. However, I find the process of controlling them progressing better than before. Despite being surrounded by heavier responsibility than in the previous semester, I'm still able to lose control only those few times, I'd really think that it's a great achievement. The old me would have snapped at any moment irritated because I can't stand the pressure. Having to cope with lots of new stuff, being able to keep my sanity, seems like an impossible task for me previously. I'd had kill someone by now (if I'm still the old me) considering the amount of pressure I'm handling. However, I didn't ^.^ There aren't a lot of fences that's just stand around letting you hit nails into them. One fell, others crumbling, I'd try my best not to cause more injury to them.

With this, I'd like to extend my apologies especially to the fallen fence and to the one's at the verse of collapsing, I'd also like to extend my apologies if I'd done things that stabbed you in the heart. Maybe I can't stop this stabbing habit right away, but I'll try. (Hopefully, no more fences will collapse).