Misunderstandings (>.<)

Misunderstanding always occur in life. It is a norm. However, sometimes it can happen in succession that it starts to get a bit scary >.<

First, let me talk a bit about myself. I'm lacking of confidence. This particular lacking has brought me to another problem of communication. Why? Particularly because I don't have the confidence to talk to people. For one, I have to admit I'm too much of and egoistic person. I judge myself too critically. It doesn't matter if no one else judge me, I'll be my own judge and this usually isn't a good thing. I think everyone will judge me the way I judge myself. Thus, I try to talk less so as not to say things that might cause discomfort to others. In other words, I'm speaking less due to two main reasons: I don't know the person well enough yet to know what topic to talk about and I try not to talk much so as I can reduce the amount of judgement people make on me based on my speech. However, this leads to another problem. People tend to think that I'm arrogant >.< They think I'm not willing to be their friend which is not true. I'm just not good at all these stuff.


Now onto the misunderstandings.


1. I'm as usual, quiet, doesn't talk much and only replies when asked which results in a one way conversation. Perceived by this new guy as I'm not willing to be his friend >.<


2. It's my birthday. Due to the previous misunderstanding, he didn't attend. He did get my phone number from someone and messaged me. Then the misunderstanding part: Somehow it's either they gave him the wrong number or he sent the message to the wrong number, I didn't receive the message and of course if I don't receive, I can't reply. Jeng Jeng, another misunderstanding.


3. Ok, now he got the correct number. He messaged me. This time, I received the message. I replied. In my reply, I explained my quiet nature, how I'm not particularly good with new people. I though that has resolved all the misunderstanding but now I'm wondering if actually that created another >.< When I said I'm not good with new people, I meant I'm probably gonna be quiet for some time until I get used to it. It doesn't mean, no I'm not willing to be your friend because you are new here.


4. Well, then once he came with another friend to my room. I don't know if they were looking for me or my roommate. I'm busy playing games plus chatting on msn, that I don't really pay much attention to them. As usual, when I'm gaming, I can go as extreme as not reading sms that I receive hours back. So, after I'm done with the gaming, I start wondering, what was that just now. Then it struck me as OMG! Did another misunderstanding occur?


5. Geez... Then, there was once I went to have dinner. Oh, I say him there and uh ow.... My tutor is there >.< Another problem I have, I'm afraid of anyone whom I regard as authority such as teachers, tutors, lecturers and such. So, I'm trying to avoid the tutor. I don't usually like to meet any authority outside class, it gives me the pressure. Oh, well, avoid I did and then (thunder strike) did that just created yet another MISUNDERSTANDING? Oh no...


There sure are too many misunderstanding these days. I hope I'm just thinking too much as usual but if there really are misunderstandings... I guess it will be hard to resolve... I'm so bad at explaining stuff >.<